The “But”

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” 2 Corinthians 4.8-9

I stared at this verse in a whole new way this week. A way I would’ve hoped to never see it.  This verse had always made me feel empowered. It showed me the strength and redemption I had in Cheist. This week, however, it showed me the utter hopelessness that those without Him felt.

Michael was my cousin by marriage. We were never very close, but he and I would have lunch together with our grandparents sporadically throughout college. He lived on the floor above me during freshman year, and we would hang out from time to time in large groups. He was a vibrant young man with amazing ambitions. He was so determined in his school work while having so much fun breakdancing in his free time.

I never would have imagined the pain he felt inside.

My heart was broken last week when I found out he had taken his own life. It was like everything came to a halt. I tried to work through it the best that I could, but one can only comprehend so much of such a terrible thing.

Once we had more details, my mom filled me in on Michael’s battle with mental illness. He had become adept at masking his symptoms, which kept treatment at bay. Toward the end of our conversation, my mom told me that she couldn’t begin to imagine what someone is thinking when they take their own life. In a moment of clarity, I simply replied to her, “Hopelessness.”

You see, Paul’s description of our trials in 2 Corinthians has one small key word – “but.” Despite the persecution we face, Christ’s saving grace is the “but” that keeps us from comelette destruction. We are able to have hope and thus less easily succumb the feelings of abandonment and despair.  He has promised us a life with him, filled with joy and eternal peace. This is an amazingly empowering verse! Paul says in Philippians that we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength! He has provided us the strength we need to resist defeat amidst our trials.

However, we must also shift our view of this verse to see the world through an unbeliever’s eyes. Without His grace, how can one see beyond the persecution in front of him? How can one not succumb to despair and destruction? For without the Lord’s redemption, there is no “but.”

While I continue to mourn the loss of Michael, I am encouraged by the Lord’s gift to me. He has opened my eyes to see the need among the lost. I pray that the Lord continues to work in my heart that I may show future friends, family, and patients, both with and without mental illness, that there is hope beyond this life.

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4.16-18

**If you are currently struggling with mental illness or thoughts of suicide, please seek out help. Your local healthcare provider can help you find medication and counseling to help you with your condition. If you are considering suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Life: 1-800-273-8255.